Because of the work that I do, many people have shared with me their personal stories of bullying. I am amazed by their courage. Being a mother is the most important role that I have. For parents and guardians that are helping their children deal with bullying, please know that I take your roles very seriously. Right now you might be feeling very alone, and may not know how your family will make it through this situation that you are currently experiencing. I have  worked with children and adolescents successfully for many years by first establishing a rapport with them. I pride myself on helping people of all ages deal with painful situations by empowering them to help themselves get through their toughest challenges.

 

The first thing that you need to know is that bullying is NOT a normal part of growing up. To say otherwise is false. I specialize in bullying counseling because decades of research has established the devastating, lasting negative psychological, social, and societal consequences of bullying behaviors. I’ve seen this personally through my work as an educator as well as through my own research study.  

 For the targets of bullying, some issues that might arise include anxiety, depression, absenteeism from school/work, and alcohol and substance abuse, just to name a few. Unfortunately, some people who have been bullied have killed themselves or harmed others as retaliation. The people who exhibit the aggressive behaviors are also negatively affected. Bullying is a learned behavior. They learned it from someone. It is very possible that they too were bullied at some point in their lives, perhaps by someone very close. If left unchecked, kids who bully become adults who bully. And this presents a whole new host of issues. Some go on to commit criminal offenses as adults, and may end up in jails and prisons. Bystanders are affected by bullying as well because they have to live with the guilt of not doing anything about what they witnessed or possibly encouraged.

 

But just as bullying is learned, it can be unlearned. The way to do this is to teach the appropriate skills to take the place of negative ones. The person being targeted can benefit a great deal from learning social skills such as assertiveness. The person exhibiting the aggressive behavior can benefit from learning empathy skills. And the bystanders can learn how to get the courage to stand up for someone despite the possibility of retaliation. Parents can learn how to effectively speak with their child about bullying, and model the appropriate behaviors for their child. In the case that interventions are needed, counseling and coaching help tremendously by letting the individual process their experiences, learn from it, and become empowered to gain the skills and strategies to be able to handle any situation more effectively. After working with students and clients on skills to reduce and eliminate bullying from their lives, I have seen them flourish from being timid and angry into more resilient, positive-minded individuals. And that is why I love doing what I do.